How happy are you?

Are you the happiest person you know? Not necessarily the luckiest, richest, or most successful, just the happiest?

If not, why not? Most people will reel off their current worries — the job, the kids, the car, the price of fish. I don’t mean to sweep these aside: problems need to be solved, if you can, or waited out until they disappear . But as far as living happily is concerned you have to face a crucial fact. If you can only live happily after all your problems are solved, you are never going to live happily, because when today’s problems are gone and forgotten, others will take their place. So either living happily is just impossible, or you have to do it in spite of your problems.

Being happy depends not so much on external circumstances as on your inner life. This means all your thoughts, perceptions, beliefs, emotions, desires, dreams — your entire mental and emotional scene. Happiness is about how you react inwardly to events, what you think and believe, how you feel, how problems affect you. It may sound obvious, but like many obvious things it’s something that is often forgotten when it matters most. We focus almost exclusively on our external lives, on getting and spending and having fun, and then wonder why we are not happy. But it’s when our inner lives are tranquil that we are happiest and we call this inner peace.

So how is inner peace to be achieved? Is it a question of religion, perhaps, or yoga? These can certainly help but only if they have a positive effect on your inner life. The difficulty is that inner life is based on patterns and habits — some you were born with, most you have acquired . You don’t choose, occasion by occasion, how you respond inside when something happens. This happens and you feel angry; that happens you feel sad; you pass the patisserie and you feel hungry; you hear a tune or smell a certain scent and it reminds you of a particular time or person? Things produce a response without you thinking about it or choosing how you feel, and they don’t necessarily leave you with inner peace. So the trick is to break the pattern.

You can’t completely avoid problems, but you can change how you react to them by acquiring new habits that provoke peaceful inner responses. Training your inner life into different habits requires learning skills of thinking, feeling, and managing your beliefs and desires. These are very like the virtues many religions and philosophies advocate, but if you think of them as skills rather than virtues, you benefit from an important and liberating shift. Instead of “I must become a better person” you can think “I would live more happily if i worked on my skills” , so the change in attitude becomes a choice, not a duty. And to these remedial skills i’ve added an extra set of enjoyment skills, otherwise getting happier could turn out a very depressing affair.

This process is not something you can do overnight, it’s a whole new way of life, but the reward is what we all want most — happiness. There are five main skills you need to cultivate.

Mindfulness:

Borrowed from Buddhism , this involves developing your ability to focus your thoughts in the present. The problem most of us have with thought is having too much of it — the worrying and nonstop mental chattering our minds are prone to. Mindfulness is a key inner skill because, as it gets stronger, it lets you focus on your own inner life and catch your habits in the act. Once you can see how you are ruled by them, the change you are seeking often happens of its own accord.
Compassion:

Most religions rightly stress compassion. As well as being a virtue in its own right it is a practical skill that counteracts negative emotions like anger and hatred, which are terrible wreckers of happiness. Try it the next time someone annoys you: put yourself in their place and ask yourself what they might they be thinking or feeling to behave like that. Even bad people, let alone people who just mildly annoy you, often have a warped or mistaken view of the world which makes them do what they do. Wars are started and atrocities committed, for example, because someone decides that this is what their God wants. It doesn’t mean they should get away with their actions, in fact it may be necessary to take strong action to defend yourself.

Story skills:

These are very useful for problems with your inner belief system, as they let you stand back and explore alternative versions of reality. Beliefs have great power over your life because a belief is something you take as fact. Start to think of your beliefs as stories, and it is easier to accept that other things might be true as well, or even instead . Even true stories only select the little bit of reality we are focusing on at the moment: no one story is the whole truth about any situation. From a different point of view we would see a different story, sometimes a whole different world. This is not about make believe, it’s about reframing situations to look at them from a different perspective.

Letting-go techniques:

These are particularly helpful when we are unhappy not getting what we want. Generally, we are encouraged to keep wanting and to think that more will make us happier, whether it’s clothes or cars or even love. But wanting is a treadmill: as long as you have unsatisfied wants and desires you won’t be at peace, so to be happy you either have to satisfy all your desires, or let go of some of them. Letting-go skills also include forgiveness, which helps hugely if one of the things you think you want is revenge.

Enjoyment skills:

This last group includes skills such as patience , humour and, especially, gratitude . You don’t have to be grateful to someone, it’s enough to cultivate gratitude for things. Our minds naturally scan the environment for dangers and resources, a useful mechanism when we were hunter-gatherers . But it can make us unnecessarily pessimistic — focusing on the 10% we lack rather than the 90% we have. Cultivating enjoyment skills will help redress the balance.
Acquiring all these skills takes time and effort. The important thing is to practise them until they operate without you thinking about them. Your practice routine will be very individual , because everyone needs to prioritise different skills depending on the specific issues that are holding them back from being happy, but keep the skills in mind and you will constantly find new ways to try them out.

Raise consciousness, beware of character

My whole effort is to give you a consciousness, not a character. Character is needed by those who don't have consciousness. If you have eyes, you don't need a walking stick to help you find your way. If you can see you don't ask others, "Where is the door?" Character is needed because people are unconscious. Character is just a lubricant; it helps you to run your life in a smooth way.

George Gurdjieff used to say that character is like a buffer. Buffers are used in railway trains, between two compartments. If something happens, these buffers prevent the two compartments from clashing with each other. Or it is like springs: cars have springs so you can move smoothly ^ even on an Indian road. Those springs go on absorbing the shocks; they are called shock absorbers.

Then what is character?

It is a shock absorber. People are told to be humble. If you learn how to be humble it is a shock absorber. By learning how to be humble you will be able to protect yourself against other people's egos. They will not hurt you so much; you are a humble man. If you are egoistic you are bound to be hurt again and again. The ego is very sensitive, so you cover up your ego with a blanket of humility. It helps, but it does not transform you.

My work is of transformation. This is an alchemical school: I want to transform you from unconsciousness into consciousness, from darkness into light. I cannot give you a character; I can only give you insight, awareness. I would like you to live moment-to-moment, not according to a set pattern given by me or given by the society, the church, the state. I would like you to live according to your own small light of awareness, according to your own consciousness. Be responsive to each moment.

Character means you have ready-made answers for all the questions of life, so whenever a situation arises you respond according to the set pattern. So it is not a true response, it is only a reaction. The man of character reacts, the man of consciousness responds: he takes the situation in, he reflects the reality as it is, and out of that reflection he acts. The man of character reacts, the man of consciousness acts. The man of character is mechanical; robotlike he functions. He has a computer in his mind, full of information; ask him anything and a ready-made answer pops out.

Heraclitus says: You cannot step in the same river twice. And i say to you: You cannot step in the same river even once, the river is so fast-flowing. Character is stagnant; it is a dirty pool of water. Consciousness is a river. A man of consciousness simply acts in the moment, not out of the past and out of the memory. His response has a beauty, a naturalness, and his response is true to the situation. The man of character always falls short, because life is continuously changing; it is never the same. And your answers are always the same, they never grow ^ they can't grow, they are dead.

You have been told a certain thing in your childhood; it has remained there. You have grown, life has changed, but that answer that was given by your parents, teachers or by your priests. And if something happens you will function according to that answer which was given to you 50 years before. And in 50 years so much water has flowed down the Ganges; it is a totally different life.

Excerpted from Be Still and Know, courtesy Osho International Foundation.

"NOW"The ultimate goal in life

Make most out of NOW

Life is enjoying the overflowing energy
Don't be confused about goals.The ultimate goal is Live in present

only fools think of the past--fools who do not have the intelligence to live in the present. And only fools imagine about the future, because they don't have the courage to live in the present. Forget the past, forget the future, this moment is all . This moment has to become your prayer, your love , your life, your death, your everything.
ONLY COWARDS THINK OF CONSEQUENCES
Live courageously don;t be cowards. Don;t think of consequences; only cowards think of consequences. Don' t be too result-oriented; people who are result-oriented miss life. Don't think of goals, because goals are always in the future and far away, and life is here-now, close by.
PURPOSE MAKES LIFE MEANINGLESS
Don't be too purposive. Let me repeat it: don't be too purposive. don't always bring in the idea, "what is the purpose of it?" because that is a strategy created by your enemies, by the enemies of humanity, to poison your very source of life. Ask the question, "What is the purpose of it?"and everything becomes meaningless.
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF ROSES?
It is early morning, the sun is rising and the East is red with the sun, and the birds are singing and the trees are waking up, and it is all joy. It is a rejoicing, a new day has happened again. And you are standing there asking the question, "What is the purpose of it?" you miss, you miss it totally. You are simply disconnected.
TRUST EXISTENCE LIKE ROSES DO
A rose is dancing in the wind, so delicate and yet so strong, so soft yet fighting with the strong wind, so momentary yet so confident. Look at the rose flower. Have you ever seen any rose flower nervous.? So confident, so utterly confident, as if it is going to be here forever. Just a moment's existence, and such trust in eternity. Dancing in the wind, whispering with the wind, sending out its fragrance and your are standing there asking the question, "What is the purpose of it?".
LIFE HAS NO PURPOSE
there is no purpose in life. Life is its own purpose; it is not a means to some end,it is and end unto itself. The bird on the wing, the rose in the wind, the sun rising in the morning, the stars in the night, a man falling in love with a woman, a child playing on the street.. there is no purpose. Life is simply enjoying itself, delighting in itself. Energy is overflowing, dancing, for no purpose at all. It is not a performance, it is not a business. Life is a love affair, it is poetry, it is music.

Be Here Now
Life is not a dress rehearsal. I don't care what philosophy you believe in-- we have got only one shot at this game called life. The stakes are too high to waste your life. The stakes are the future generations.
What time is ti and where are we? the answer is now and we are here. Let's make the best of now and utilize the present to fullest.The message is not that swe don't need to plan for the future. If we utilize our present to its fullest, we are sowing the seeds for a better future.
If you want to build a positive attitude, learn the phrase, " do it now" and stop the habit of procrastination.
The saddest words in life are:

"It might have been."

"I should have."

" I could have."

"I wish I had"

"If only I had given a little extra."
Never leave till tomorrow, which you can do today.
-Benjamin Franklin

We all live in the present moment but very few of us utilize thepower of this current moment.The only thing that truly exists is what is happening rightnow.The past does not exist; it's over with and should be nothing but afading memory. The future does not exist; it simply hasn't happened yet.Both the past and the future are only a part of your thoughts andmemories; they only exist in your mind and not in reality.The only thing that really exists right now is the very presentmoment that you live in and from this present moment you can drawtremendous power; the kind of power that can change your life andallow you to achieve your goals.You may not like the present moment but that's only becauseyou're thinking about what you feel the present should be. You'recomparing the present moment to something else and not appreciatingwhat is happening right now. I know some of you may say: "student, right now I don't have a job and the bank is about toforeclose. Plus my wife/husband just left me and I'm stuck with 3kids. My present is not exactly pleasant."If you're present or current situation is not pleasant then you'recomparing it to something else. You're probably thinking about whatthe now should be instead of dealing with what is going on.If you don't have a job then it's time to look for one. Don't focus on the fact that you don't have a job, and don't focus on how difficult it may seem to get a job. Instead, simply concentrate on going out andgetting a job. You live in the present moment by doing what has to be done now and not worrying about the way things should be.At the end of the day see where you are and focus on what needs tobe done next.If your children need attention right now then give them attention. If you need to go out and look for work right now then do it. Don't compare your present situation to anything. Accept what it isand make the most of it with the intention of making the presentbetter with each step that you take.I'm not saying accept don't do anything to improve your current situation.Deal with your present situation and do everything youcan to improve your life.When you begin working on the present moment with the intent ofimproving your life you begin to utilize the power of now you leavethe past in the past, you don't concentrate on the future andinstead you start living in the present moment doing everythingthat you can to improve your life now.When you do this you send a powerful message to your subconsciousmind. You tell your subconscious that you are here now and ready to getto work to improve your life.Your Subconscious mind then begins working for you because yoursubconscious only understands the present moment your subconsciousdoes not understand the future or the past your subconscious onlylives in the now; it only exists in the present moment.Understanding this process is one thing - practicing it is quite another thing.To start working with the power of now you have to get your mind simply focus on what is happening and what needs to be done right now. No more comparing or hoping for things to get better. Just deal with what is and what has to be done. When you do this you start moving forward and you allow yoursubconscious mind to help you achieve your goals because you'rehere now - working with your subconscious to create the situationsthat you want. Start living in the present moment and get yoursubconscious mind working for you

The Present is All That ExistsYou have memories, you will have feelings when you think about thepast, but let's face it the past no longer exists. You can't step back in time and go into the past. The past is done with. It doesn't exist.You can't step into the future and see what happens. Despite whatso called psychics and astrologers say there is no way of seeingthe future or living in the future. It hasn't happened. One day that future will arrive and if you'renot paying attention, if you're too focused on the past or stillworrying about the future you'll miss it completely.The only thing that is taking place right now is the present moment. As you read this newsletter that's all that you're doing. When you're done... the moment that you are currently experiencingwill never happen again! The now will never happen again! Your present moment will never happen again!Even when you think about the past you think about it in thepresent moment. You don't physically go back in time and remember the past. You only remember the past in this present moment.When you think about the future you do it in the present moment notin the future.When you think about the past and the future you are wasting thevaluable time and power that you have in the present moment.The only reason people are unhappy is because they fail to live inthe present moment, they fail to embrace the now. Instead, they often think about what their present moment should be and that always leads to unhappiness.It is impossible to have a problem and live in the present momentat the same time. When you live in the present moment your attention is completelyfocused on what is happening at that very moment. There are no thoughts of the future or the past. If you are at work - focus on work. If you are at home focus on thehome. If you're with friends focus on your friends.When you do this your subconscious mind is released and free tostart working on improving your life.Focus on the present moment. Allow your subconscious mind to work for you everyday by workingwith the power of the present moment.
How You Can Live In The Now
If you're ready to start living in the now and begin creating thelife that you want then take a look at your present situation andask yourself what's wrong with the very moment you are in.Don't think about what happened yesterday or sometime in the past. Don't focus on what might or might not happen tomorrow. Take a look at the very moment you are in see if there is anything wrong.If you're at home is there something wrong?Don't say you are out of work that's not the present moment becauseyou are looking at what is not happening.I want you to focus your mind on what is happening then see what iswrong with that picture.You should find nothing wrong with the present moment it is what itis and once you accept it you can start living again.Let's face it you can't turn your mind off but you can get it towork differently and that's what you should start doing.If you don't take control of your mind your mind willcontrol you and that's not going to help you improve your life.Ask yourself these next questions: Do you find yourself waiting for something to happen? Are you waiting to get some more time? Make more money?Meet the right person? Are you waiting for the right opportunity?Waiting is another game the mind plays because it doesn't want tolive in the present moment.If you answered yes to any of the above questions then you're notliving in the present moment you are focusing on anything but thepresent moment. I know you can't focus on the present moment or live in the now 24hours a day. But start by doing this for a few minutes a day and then continueexpanding the exercise everyday. Then track your progress. See how you feel when you only focus onwhat is happening right now. As you continually do this you'll seeyourself starting to enjoy the process.Here's a suggestion. The next time you are driving or walking payattention only to what is happening around you. Listen to thesounds, observe the people. Don't think about what you have to door what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow or whatmight happen in five minutes. Focus your attention only on what is happening right now. Doingthis will get your mind to start living in the present moment andbefore you know it you'll be able to focus your mind and utilizethe power of now.Start utilizing the power of now - you'll be more focused andyou'll enjoy the present moment. Best of all you'll start movingtoward achieving your goals and living the life - you only get one life and one chance.Make the most of it. Stop defeating yourself, stop limitingyourself. Create all the success you want and deserve in life.

The ideal qualities of a person

I am a man so anything I say is only going to be my opinion of what I feel are important qualities. I am straight btw so there is no confusion here. The list I am about to make would more or less be the same as a list of ideal qualities I would seek from a female I wanted to be in a relationship with.

Close to his family; I'm not talking mama's boy here but a guy who has a very close caring relationship with his parents is more likely to treat you well and your family well than a guy who is a total ass towards his family. It is also a clear indicator in many cases on how ready he is to be a good father to any future children that may come as a result of the relationship.

Compassion; a guy who is compassionate towards others is more than likely going to be compassionate towards you when you need him to be. Men who are incapable of showing compassion towards others usually turn out to be lousy choices for long term comitted relationships.

A great sense of humor; I am not saying you should be with a guy that finds every little thing funny. However life would suck big time being with someone who had absolutely no sense of humor at all and was serious about everything.

Intelligence: It is not necessary for you to seek out only card carrying members of Mensa. However you certainly don't want a guy who is capable of memorizing every little insignificant sports fact known to man but can't figure out the square root of 9 is 3.

Faithfulness; This should actually have been listed as the first quality. Now mind you you don't want a needy man who is going to be all clingy and everything. However if you find out a guy you are interested i has had 8 girlfriends in the last 6 months that would be a pretty good indicator that he is one night stand material but definitely not long term comitted relationship material.

Romantic; While it is not necessary to have a guy that romance novels are made of You do want someone who can be spontaneous and do sweet little things for you just because. Unromantic men are the biggest cause of their partner cheating on them. Guys tend to get into this comfort zone after being in a relationship for awhile where they think their partner knows they love them and they don't need to show it any more. However most women never get tired of being told how beautiful they are to their mate or having their mate do sweet little romantic things for them just because. When men stop doing that stuff women tend to take it personally and feel that the guy no longer loves them. Then along comes another guy who tells them all the things they long to hear and before you know it the boyfriend/husband is history.

In my opinion these qualities are way more important than how hot and hunky the guy is. Don't get me wrong it's not a crime to want someone that appeals to the eyses as well as the other senses but I think looks should be less of a priority.
As a man myself, I know it is important to pick a right female partner. I see the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The true beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.

Likewise, a woman should also know how to pick her ideal male partner. All the while, I thought it was true love of the man was good enough for all women. Until I met an intelligent attractive lady who enlightened me further. She said, getting a man who could shower her with true love alone isn't sufficient. Most important her partner has to be intelligent, kind, fun, good hearted, understanding, motivated and lovable. WoW! Love alone isn't good. The man can be intelligent but can he creates fun and excitement or offer humour to make her laughs when she is sad. The man can be smart but does he cares and has concern for others. He can be rich but has he the understanding of life and offer humanity. Has he got the confidence to motivate and advise. Is he an all rounder of being a likable and lovable person.

Gentlemen there! Man looks at women but ladies look at us too. Is not easy to be a true lover to an ideal intelligent attractive lady either. Before I left, I asked her,"My dear, do I qualify to be that ideal man?
This book is for women who want to be more Cinderella than Cruella De Vil, but this book is not just about living happily ever after. It's a thoughtful look at the wonderful, unique, and God-ordained role a woman has in her husband's life. Author Sharon Jaynes surveyed hundreds of men and conducted countless interviews. In them she asked these important questions:

* How would you describe the woman of your dreams?
* What does your wife do well that other women learn from?
* What has been you greatest struggle in your marriage?
* How could your wife help alleviate that problem?
* What is one thing you wish women understood about what a man wants in the woman of his dreams?

Seven qualities came up over and over again as men honestly shared their responses. The woman of a man's dreams prays for him, respects him, adores him, initiates intimate friendship with him, sees him as second to none, encourages him, and sexually fulfills him. Also included is a study guide, which makes this book perfect for individuals or groups of women wanting to be all God has called them to be in the lives of the men they love.

Ultimate person

An ultimate person can win over;a greedy by offer of money,a proud person by cowering before him,a fool by agreeing with him and a scholar by speaking the truth.
A gready can be bought. If you cower and act like a beggar before a vain person his ego gets satisfied and he would like to reward you by granting your wish.if you agree with a fool,he is impressed and pleased with you because you make him feel a wise person. He will do anything you say in return. It is a rare honour for him. A scholar values truthfulness.

The qualities of an ultimate person

An ultimate person need three things; the heart to feel, the brain to conceive, the hand to work.
The ultimate man can never be satisfied but only by ultimate freedom.
The ultimate person mind is thought less. He sees things as it is.He would rather fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than succeed in a cause that ultimately fail.
The ability to show courage in the face of adversity;show self-restraint in the face of temptation,choose happiness in the face of hurt,show charac5ter in the face of despair,and see opportunity in the face of obstacles are all vauable traits to possess.

Practise Energy manger system to become an ultimate person.

Do you want to be an ultimate person.

An ultimate person have no limits.
how you can become an ultimate person will be posted in further posts of ultimate person label.